NURUL AIN
j'ai vingth et un ans
i want to travel around the world, with bottles of mango milk tea in my esprit totebag.
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Thursday, January 27, 2005
13:39
just sitting here thinking. there are many people out there living behind a smile. yet, it feels as though you're the only one doing so. basically one can ask "why?" to almost every single little possible thing there is, so i won't need to elaborate here. to stay behind that smile is a painfully stressful task but once you go there, it feels safer to stay. you think that you're sacrificing yourself which makes you think that THEY should cut you some slack. when they don't, the frustration simply shuts you up even more. you dont want to talk about it. the next 'sacrifice' comes and gets locked up inside your body. serious enough, you could end up silent. muted. not wanting to speak though you can. cause you have too much too say and nowhere to begin. sometimes you dont remember what those things bothering you are but the frustration from them stays within you. the silent one. as mysterious as i am. to go somewhere and never come back. i hope i wont drop and fall. cause that hurts too.
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