fear. i'm having a sudden fear. i dont know what it is, but i often find myself frustrated. frusting myself with fears. i dont want to blame anyone for it, but i do want to get to the bottom of it. that's why i got so upset. i really couldnt figure it out, and so... anger is the best cure for the nerves.
running. i have a sudden love to run. physically and mentally too. not forgetting... emotionally. yester-morning, i went for a jog with my family at seletar reservoir. i just felt free when i run... jog i mean. just free. the wind against my face, the sweat acting like glue, sticking my shirt onto my skin. i never love running on tracks, never love running for NAPFA tests, never love running with my NPCC juniors. (eventhough i'm one of the PT instructors) i just dont... but yester-morning's run left me with a sense of... of... i dont know the word to describe it. in short, i really felt free. i'm beginning to love it. anyway, it's good for me to run around and it keeps me out of trouble. most days anyways.
...
take a look at what i took. a leaf out of everybody's book. we see what you cant see. i'm caught in a trap of my own, like everybody i know.
...
it hurts to wait. i have been waiting and waiting and waiting for good news, but so far... it had been disappointing. it will end. i know it will. tomorrow is the day... the day my parents will start smiling again, and proudly claim, "... she's my daughter" and i wont feel guilty hearing that. instead, i'll smile with them. insyaallah.