prologue

NURUL AIN
j'ai vingth et un ans

i want to travel around the world, with bottles of mango milk tea in my esprit totebag.





Wednesday, October 12, 2005 18:33

it's hard to ignore what's happening around me.
the changes.
splits.
pain.
remorse.
tears.
red nose.
torn.
stoned.
lost.
confusion.
stagnant.
delusion.
hopes crushed.
::
to think that i'm looking forward to my sweet seventeen.
it hurts to be happy,
when people around eu seemed to be preparing their pathway to suicide.
i'm exagerating. i know.
one moment i see them smile, but the moment they turn, they were in tears.
::
my one and only granny is one example.
she's totally lost.
sometimes i feel that she's not with me when i'm talking to her.
death never leaves her lips, since my first aunt passed away just some time ago.
it hurts.
me.
a lot.
::
one of my 'best' male-friends is another example.
he's not that deeply remorseful.
i doubt he ever did.
but dearie 'cat', trying to pick up her pieces to move on.
be strong.
it was shocking.
indeed.
like i said, "whoa".
::
my cleav.
i was blurred.
i know it.
i thought i did.
yes i was right.
but gee, that's one thing that i wish i wasnt right.
i'm sorry for not being there, for eu.
i feel like a stranger.
we used to be so close.
cleav and breast.
now, hard to say.
i want to rekindle the close friendship we once had.
still have, of course.
wait for me this sunday dearie, we'll go home together?
::
end it here for now.
breaking fast time is near.
i've yet to take a bath.
stoning away..