if it's not this, then it's something else.
sometimes, we dont really live our life.
in fact, most of the times, we dont live our life.
it's like we are dolls, and everything seemed to be scripted.
gee... men see things in a box, and women see them in a round room.
no wonder i'm so full of it.
::
it's really hard to please others, when you hardly please yourself.
devoting myself with something for about ten years starting from now, for them... and i really have no say.
on the contrary, i'm partially happy to oblige with what they want.
to please them.
to make them happy.
cause there's always this saying, 'every cloud has a silver lining'.
maybe there's a silver lining with what i'm going to do for them.
on the other hand, this is the silver lining for my clouds last year.
the one year being a threading clud, the patience... and the believe that i'll move on.
i'm moving right now... and it's just that i reached a bent that left me with choices whether i should turn left or right.
dilemma.
... and now, i tell you.
i choose to listen to them.
the inimitable collective, "them".
i dont know a lot about everything, but i do know a lot about the part of everything that i know, which is people.
i've spent so much time thinking about all the answers to the problem, that i forget what the problem *actually* was.
i want to get myself into the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened.
::
sadness is easier because it's surrender.