i am craving to be tucked away warm in bed, but instead here i am manically attempting to make a dent in these readings in hopes of churning out amirah's 'brochures' (sp?) using powerpoint by dusk (& well, i cant sleep cause it is only 8.05pm, despite feeling exhausted to the point of insanity). i am left feeling more drained than i have ever been these days. i had a theory about man's need for justification in the form of a degree & the many great writers who never did complete society's benchmark for human intelligence albeit producing great time-freezing works, & i was going to write it all down here but now i dont feel the need to write it down anymore. it is simply that i am able to write stuff for myself when i think of it, & not simply on demand; trying to recall what i intend to write that is, & that makes things not right. & i am so dulled out now, with the draggy holidays, & loads of housework plus the sleep (yeah-yeah!).

i have had enough & despite the fact that the mirrors talk to me, i would like myself back.