not literally.. figuratively i mean. it is extremely difficult for me not to get uptight & worry about every other issue almost everyday. SERIOUSLY, how much can a nineteen year old worry about? i dont want to start having high blood pressure at a young age, neither do i wish to develop any mental illness, though i am probably an undiagnosed case already. maybe it is because there are too many thoughts flickering through my mind, & i am suffering the side effects from keeping it all inside. i really dont know. these thoughts are always hidden, floating around in me because talking about it wouldnt change anything. i know because when i do end up sharing my thoughts sometimes, i will start getting angry at the person for saying all the things i dont want to hear. it is actually very hard to tell someone something because you always end up feeling like the person dont understand you, but you really cant blame the person because he is clearly not in your shoes, & all he can do is just listen & advise you although most of the time, you would have already predicted what he will say at the end of it.

i mean, LIFE is like that.

worries are just thoughts, thoughts are just worries. thinking and worrying wont change the future. all i have to do is leave everything up to fate... no matter how much it always makes me feel fluctuated between doubt and hope. gosh, i really hate feeling this way almost all the time. i guess nothing is certain in life, right? is this fate is scheme of things, & i am but a tiny little dot in fate's vast people plan then? i shall be mellow, & pop my chill pills today... breathe.