it wasnt my fault. i didnt know what to do. i dont think it was my fault. was it? i feel so bad about the girlf, & i was so sorry too. i wonder if she hates flies or what she does. sometimes, i still want to call her & tell her so much stuff but especially that i didnt mean to not do anything & that i am sorry too.

things are different for me now. to just write it all out, even the stuff i have never told anyone. so many people wanted to know what happened; where i went. i have no idea, i would say. that was all; but i knew. that was when i ran. i ran hard & loud, & i didnt care. i just ran.

i always run. i always run, & maybe i am what they say. i wrote this down, & it was supposed to make me feel better. it doesnt.