sometimes, we not only want to be good but the best; & when the best we cant be, we just want to be good enough. good enough for the people & the ones that we love; because we know that our time with them will end up being too short, no matter how long it is.

but, sometimes, the best is not good enough for them; & when the best is what we can never be, we just stop trying.

i have plans set & dreams to achieve, because i have failed once - maybe i should just say, i just stumbled, fell & dropped back off a little from the game; but i dont blame anyone for it, because the things i do & what i get is of consequences of my own actions & what i chose.

i am going to have to step up on it once again, & yes i am not going to be just another random person without a name walking down the street - i am going to be more than just a face in the crowd. actually, i am really quite upset about it, as much as how things & events occured in the times had upset me & brought me down; but like i said i dont blame anyone else for it but myself.

all i know is, the things that i have to do to achieve & be better. i thought i have people to hold on to, & be there for me - my pillars of strength; yet, i failed to realise, that before others, i have only oneself to answer to - myself.

& this promise, i made to myself is something i have to fulfill and achieve on my own to make sure i get to be the person that i want to be in my life.

like telling me that everything is going to be alright for sure,

promises which i am afraid are just meant to be broken,

i feel so lost.