it had only been about 24 hours, after the parents left for sumatra; & the evil-me was so excited then, to finally have a breathe of extra freedom. however, i miss them a lot now. i even dreamt of ibu last night; well not exactly about her, but she had some cameo role in my dream. :P

sheesh! they will only be away till this saturday, & i am already missing them so much. it will be much more a challenge to not have them around for a month plus, when they will be doing their pilgrimage next year, insyaALLAH.

before i went to sleep last night, i tried calling ibu & ayah again & again & again & again & again, but in vain; & this morning (the moment i woke up), i heard the house phone ringing half-hoping it was them but nah. however, i felt so much better upon receiving a message from ayah, even if it just to remind me to do my morning prayers. i miss you two!

i think sometimes, we dont realize the things we say, the actions we do & how we affect others around us. prolly, we are just unaware of it, & that we dont realize how it creates this chain reaction towards others. however, if the conscience is clear, that is what matters most, & we all know ourselves better than anyone else; but sometimes we wonder why it hurts. prolly because, what we expect of the closest ones in our heart doesnt turn out the way we want it to; or perhaps, the unexpected overcomes the expected. sometimes we dont realize how much we are hurting the ones we love or the people who love us - be it friends or lovers & especially family.

often, we just blunder our mouths, our way through, & simply because we cant help it. we dont live to please everybody in the whole world anyways; however, we know & we need to just pick up the right people in our lives & the right words to say to get it through. everyone may have their own views & perspectives of everything of the world in that space up in their heads, & i have mine too.

no matter what it is around me, i believe, i know who i can seek comfort to; who the people are that i can turn to & will always be there for me - just the same as i will always going to be there for them.