i am getting more & more easily distracted these days. i get upset at every single thing; & even blamed age for making me this way. maybe, i should have done more for myself - apologise a lot more, acknowledge people, forgive myself, & forgive others; just as so that at least i can focus on the major things in life.

even now, when the major exams are not that far away, i just dont feel that i am ready. i cant stop feeling lethargic; & not forgetting, the frequent headaches. i have fpqap practical at 9am tomorrow, & many important assignments with the ouh-so-near datelines, & i seriously do not need this for now. "maybe you are tired," fattasha said.

at the end of the day, when things dont go my way, or when things mess up, i will only be mad at myself; & will get all cranky again. bottomline is, my head is so messy thanks to all the unnecessary inputs from the past few days, weeks, probably even months. my once clear vision is now blurred, & i just dont know where i am heading right now.

"we dont wish for the easy stuff. we wish for big things. things that are ambitious, out of reach. we wish because we need help & we are scared; & we know we may be asking too much. we still wish, though, because sometimes they come true." - meredith grey