school, is officially ending in about four weeks time; & here i am reminiscing on the orientation days, where everyone was so carefree, & laughing with each other. things are much different now; circumstances, obligations, commitments, priorities & relationships.

however, one thing can never change; the same expectation, so high that it is unreachable, & we will never get enough.

the boyf keeps telling me that i have to let go, & move on to prove what i am capable of; & to place myself before others, for i am one who feels too much. i am always trying to make others feel good, to see them smile, & for them to be happy; "to the expense of yourself," he said.

& it reminded me so much of us, my dearest h; & how much we had gone through for the past eight years or so. i just cant help feeling that we are drifting apart, & to be honest, being out of touch with you for so long frustrates me to a certain extent; thinking of how i made time for you then, & how you didnt bother to try. why is it that i have to constantly make the first move to meet up, to hear from you, & to be a friend? & it frustrates me more, that despite all that you have 'done' for me, i always drove myself to feeling guilty for not being there for you, sometimes. i always told the boyf, how much i missed you & how much you mean to me; & that reminded me of something you once said, "sometimes, i think you love me more than i love you." dear h, the dynamics of our friendship have indeed changed without a doubt.

spending my time with d, made me realise that there is more to life than just the space in my little bubble. i see love, in the eyes of a stranger; & she made hugs feel comforting. i just feel liberal when conversing with her; not having to think of what to say, & how to say it. it is never too late to make new friends; just hoping she treat me as one & am not known as just the bestf's girlf.

hello delusion,

never lose your momentum cause it is making her heart palpitates;

it is a good thing cause she has never been happier.