if there was one word she could use to denote what happened, it would be the word "abrupt".

she sat down for a moment, with mayer playing in the background, thoughts filled her mind. it was just like a flash back. time, suddenly, seem retractable & stretchable. as she reflects, she began to see through the person whom she held closed to; to her surprise, she was filled with an array of emotions that did not spell satisfaction nor happiness. what seemed so precious, lost its inherent value within a span of say, less than a moment? given a choice, she would opt for what everyone deem as rational. she weighed the possibilities, & decided otherwise. she saw the need to be less complimentary.

it used to be, that she would sing with the deepest joy within her heart, & it used to be that she relied upon the strength of faith & hope. each time she tumble, she ran towards the truth knowing that it is through a seek as such would she be able to have her faith built upon. it used to be that she would sing her sorrows & promised that she would run this race in the name of love. as much as she trusted in you, the essence of doubt never left her side. you taught her the value of turning a blind eye for practical purposes. in her journey together with you, both of you may have stumbled, it is part & parcel of the destination -- so they say! & she picked herself up, slowly, even though you took on the leading role, taking the path that is constantly ahead & never side to side. as she followed, watching only the back of yours, she was constantly grateful for she was still holding on to faith & hope, & the love you once promised.

then you left; for once, she saw that it is a need, a necessity, to be headstrong & never, the weakling she have always portrayed herself to be. while she may have lost the might & belief, she would still be running the race. every phase is only going to become more competitive & she stood behind the starting line with that in mind. she was reminded that, after every slope, the tempo would be increased making the competition harder. it is going to be tiring, physically, mentally & especially emotionally; it would be one that is going drain every single bit of her -- yet, she held in mind stronger this time round, knowing that it is a necessity to be a participant of this race. she is grateful still, for the moments spent with you were constantly a learning experience. alhamdulillah.

on the contrary, you have lost her, forever.